I have this routine I love, when its getting late and all the kids are tucked into bed and I’m starting to feel a little sleepy myself, It always happens, I want toast and tea. (my favourite is local geniuses, zeallybay gluten free sour dough with a rooibos chai latte) It just makes me feel happy on the inside.
If I’m stressed -toast and tea, if i’m happy – toast and tea, if i’m sick – toast and tea, if i don’t know what i want – toast and tea! Yes you can have them individually but really, they are so much better with each other, they belong together!
Now whats this got to do with Cesareans?? Well when I heard yet another person say to me the other day “Sorry, I’m having a cesarean”…
I just thought Sooooooooooooo, Why is it assumed that mothers who are having a planned cesarean will not be requiring a Doula??
Is it because they are uneducated about what a Doula is? What a Doula does?
Is it because they don’t consider cesareans birth?
Is it because they are only allowed limited people in the operating theatre and think thats where a Doulas job starts and ends?
or is it just a line people use when they are trying to let Doulas know they don’t want to hire their services??
Maybe its all of the above, or at least a mixture of them.
Well good news Cesareaning Mothers..just like toast and tea…we belong together!
You see, while Doulas are generally hired to attend a birth, often with the intention of it being a natural active birth; Doulas are all about giving birthing mothers ethical, up to date information. We are about making every mother aware of ALL her choices in birth, before during and after. We are about empowering you, the mother to be, to make whatever decisions you want and need revolving around the delivery of your baby in order for you to be happy in your birthing space. Even in an operating theatre!
Yes, it is true that in most cases you will only be able to have one support person in that room with you and of course it is only natural that you choose your loved one to be by your side, given that option. When you enter that room however, there is alot that will be out of your control, what I do as your Doula is assist you, before the birth, in understanding the things that are in YOUR control. Believe it or not, in a planned c-section for a healthy mother and baby there are still many factors in this birth that you can decide on. Here is one example: there is such a thing as a natural or gentle cesarean in which you can choose what you want the room to feel and sound like for your babys’ grand entrance into the world, as well as how much intervention the doctor has in this assisted birth. Check out this inspiring baby walking out of the womb where the cesarean birth mimics that of a natural vaginal birth. You can make decisions on other aspects also like delayed cord clamping for example with its many benefits as explained beautifully on mommypotomus.com
Sometimes the decision or need to have a cesarean birth comes as a shock or disappointment. For those Mamas who have been told they need a cesarean because of unexpected or unfortunate complications effecting the babys health or even her own, I will still assist you with gathering and understanding the information that is relevant to your particular situation and together we can come up with the best possible birthing plan for your circumstances. You still have choices in the decisions you need to make and I offer opportunity to be courageous in those moments where you would possibly feel otherwise defeated or disregarded. This is also an important time to be aware of and nurture your mental and emotional health. Again, this is what I as your Doula have been trained in and am passionate about. No two births are exactly the same because no two mothers are exactly the same and this time of transition for you and the perspectives you have surrounding your baby and birth are valid.
Perhaps you will have family anxiously waiting at the hospital while you go in to have your baby, they too may need nurturing, reassuring, informing etc. I can be there on your behalf to help soothe and navigate all the complex and excited emotions that surface in these life changing moments.
Now lets take a moment to talk about after the birth, understanding your bodys’ healing needs is absolutely critical following a cesarean. I can assist with this Post Natal Care even if you are not requesting my assistance before or during the birth. I can also help inform your loved ones and those supporting you during this time on what your body and baby require during recovery and how they can best facilitate that.
Birth is valid in all its forms. Mamas are valid in every birth and Doulas are valid for every Mama so rethink your thoughts towards your cesarean birth and Doulas. Just like toast and tea, we belong together!