It’s not weird to feel good when we are acknowledged for working hard, a simple Thankyou in those moments is a lovely little spirit lifter. I think its pretty safe to say that most people would also appreciate it if a bad feeling they had been carrying around, suddenly dissolved and was replaced with a positive feeling. This is the superpower of an affirmation.
Sometimes people hear the word affirmation and immediately think of a commune full of hippies meditating kumbaya together. In reality, most people use affirmations everyday; I love, well done, good job, that was delicious, you are really good at that etc. These are all really common ways that people show their affection to one another. Affirmations are really just a way of getting our thoughts and desires to speak affectionately, respectfully, to each other.
In pregnancy, affirmations can be empowering mind changers and a labouring woman’s best friend. In the Pospartum space they help to reshape our perspective and are a wonderfully giving, useful tool for supportive partners.
These days you can buy sets of affirmation cards specifically for labour and that is a really great start. I like to encourage all my clients to come up with some of their own too, specific to their personal circumstances. Personality plays a significant role in whether or not an affirmation has a transformative effect. You may appreciate a soft soothing approach, while your friend may prefer the slap you on the back and pound your fists kind of enthusiasm. Whatever your cup of tea, blend the affirmations to suit your taste.
The trick with feeling comfortable and energised after saying or reading affirmations to yourself and each other, is to find lines/phrases and wording that feels valuable and valid to who you are and what you need from these little confidence boosting powerballs. Below is a list of some more affirmations that many of my Mama’s have found useful.
Take what you like, leave what you don’t, or use them as motivation to create a few tailor made lines for yourself.
For you and your partner to use during pregnancy
- Our baby already loves us. Our lifetime bond will grow as we do.
- We will Trust the process.
- In this moment right here, right now, you are everything and enough for our baby.
- You will not fail in birth, you will not let anyone down.
- My birth does not define what kind of mother I will be.
- My body is designed to give my baby the best of me everyday. (eat the pickles and icecream)
- My anxiety will not ruin my baby.
- I am present for today. My past does not hold me hostage.
- I don’t have to enjoy pregnancy to be a good mother.
- I can surrender and still be strong.
- It’s ok for me to want a different birth story than what I have been told or seen. My desires are important, my choices are valid.
To tell yourself during labour
- This is my birth, this is my team, I have the strength and confidence to ask for what I need.
- Our birth story is valid, we are valid, I am valid.
- I am safe, I am loved, I am strong.
- Choosing pain relief is not weakness or failure.
- I want to do this and I can do this.
- I am choosing to let my body take control. I am choosing to surrender.
- I did amazing just then.
- I am not afraid of the sensations of birth.
For your partner to say to you during labour
- Thankyou for working so hard to make us a family.
- You are phenomenal.
- I am so proud of you.
- You can not let me down in this moment.
- You are more beautiful in this moment than I have ever seen you before.
Partners can sometimes feel a little awkward verbalising their awe and affection when others are in the room and that is totally understandable. Talk about other ways he can express those feelings to you in that space if you know your man is a little shy with the PDA. Eye contact is really effective, forehead kisses and standing up for your choices, are all wonderful alternatives for those who are a little clunky with the catchphrases.
If you feel a little blocked by your opinions of yourself or find that you are fighting with the little red guy on your shoulder, I can help you with that. Connect with me here and lets work on smashing through your barriers to gain a positive perspective and ultimately, a positive birth experience.
In my next blog, we will look at how to talk to yourself and your partner in the post partum space and how your partner can use affirmations within everyday conversations to keep you both feeling seen, heard and valued.