As a Doula, it is both necessary and honourable to ‘mother the mother’.
What does this even mean? you might ask, well, it means that while a woman is super-heroing like a boss, labouring and delivering her latest addition, I look after her, I nurture her, I accept her without condition, I support her, I hold her, I comfort her, I encourage her, I commend her and I protect her space so that she can do exactly what she needs to do.
I ‘mother’ her. This is what every aspect of Popbellies is about.
At the moment, I have just over a bazillion gazillion micro jobs that I need to get done so that my ‘baby’ (aka popbellies), can grow up big and strong into something I am proud of. I am passionate about what I am creating, what I am offering, what I am honouring, what I am learning and what I am achieving.
Here’s where it gets tricky; I am a mother too.
I mean a real one, not just a woman calling her business her ‘baby’, but an actual mother of living and breathing human creations that contain my DNA! I wake them, feed them, nurture them, cuddle them, adore them, discipline them, correct them, commend them, protect them, feed them again, negotiate, tolerate, communicate, suffocate (i mean, no!….how did that word slip in there)feed them AGAIN, wash them, clean them, dry them, clothe them, tuck them into bed, pray with them and pray for them. EVERY SINGLE DAY!
I know! millions of women all over the world are doing this every single day too. We also have to work for other people, clean our houses, do our washing, make nutritious meals that are enjoyable to the varying taste buds of the household, we have husbands to love and serve and honour and so on and so on.
Now I’m not using this as a platform to whinge. I am loved, I am respected and I am supported and I am grateful everyday and count my blessings for these first world ‘problems’
BUT…this mother needs some mothering too.
I need someone to remind me that there are some moments in life that need to be embraced even endured in order for the next chapter to start and that through these times it is more than ok to be supported and to need the support. I need someone to remind me that when you feel like its too much and you’re not sure you can do it anymore, that usually means you are almost there and if you breathe a little deeper and you push a little harder, that’s when the magic happens!
And sometimes as well as all the outside support you have, you need also to decide, to Mother yourself!!
So I will.
I am going to Mother Myself.
I am going to look after myself better, I am going to nurture and accept and support and encourage and commend myself, I am going to protect my personal space so that I can get through each stage exactly the way I need too.
I am going to start at the top of my list and tick each item off one by one (and I do LOVE lists)
I will banish all feelings of guilt and failure! I will trust the process, I will remember why I am doing this, I will stay committed to the task and take the time I need to get this done right. I will breathe a bit deeper, push a bit harder.
I will remember that sometimes, Mothers need mothering too and there aint nothing wrong with that!